We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
