So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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