I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
