Got a toothbrush?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
