So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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