Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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