thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
