Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
