what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
