I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i think im in europe. pls send help
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I see more hoeing in ur future
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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