My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
