they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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