think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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