No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
