I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
