i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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