i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize