I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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