I'm gonna have a badass scar
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize