I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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