And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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