he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
