Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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