I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
50% drunk capacity currently
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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