i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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