My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
