I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
