remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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