Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
