my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
