I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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