yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
