and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
