How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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