kristin has been a bad kristin
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
