Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
