Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize