So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
