i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
