How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
