nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
