I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
