a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
this boner is exhausting
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
