I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Welp...herpes.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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