Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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