it hurts more in the daytime
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
