i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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