i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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