we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
