so that wasnt chicken after all
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
