how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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