The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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