no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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