I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
