I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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