are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
