She's JV to your varsity
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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