I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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