but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
