I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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