hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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