I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
