she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
barbara walters just said penis...
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The beer is more important than you right now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
