I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
