They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize