It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
