I wanna passion pit in your ass
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
