capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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