Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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