You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
