What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
